Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
For no special reason other than I felt like it, I will list what, in my estimation, are the Top 10 Worst Songs of the 1970s:
10. Paul Anka - (You're) Having My Baby (1974)
Just UGH. I have no words for how awful this song is. Just thinking about it makes me want to stab my ears with ice picks.
"Didn't have to keep it, wouldn't put ya through it. You could have swept it from your life, but you wouldn't do it, no, you wouldn't do it." Good GAWD.
09. Debby Boone - You Light Up My Life (1977)
I wonder if I'd think differently had this song not been burned out by it being on radio every five minutes back then. Seriously, I remember this song being inescapable. It was #1 on Billboard for ten weeks after all. That is longer than, I think, any other single in the 70s. Sold millions. Or is it because it's just so bland? I don't know.
08. Dan Hill - Sometimes When We Touch (1977)
I find myself saying "EUGH!" out loud every time it comes on. It's that typical "sensitive 70s guy" thing. It came out the same year as "You Light Up My Life" and David Soul's "Don't Give Up On Us" among others, so the time was right for it being in schmaltz song company. Pure treacle, which I'll admit I'm guilty of liking a song or two in that category. This isn't one of them, though I will say I do like the melody.
07. Clint Holmes - Playground In My Mind (1973)
For some reason, this song always came off as creepy to me. I just never took to it at all. By the way, the young boy who sang the part of "Michael", the boy with the nickel, was a then 9 year old Philip Vance, son of the song's writer, Paul Vance. Apparently Philip died in 2009 at the age of 44. Another aside! Paul Vance's daughter Paula recorded "Run Joey Run" (which Vance also wrote) with David Geddes in 1975, she was 15. While speaking of David Geddes and "Run Joey Run", let's just go ahead and say that one could tie here.
06. Michael Martin Murphey - Wildfire (1975)
I mean for real. Lost (dead) horse, dead girl. "She ran calling Wildfire..." I just... this is some serious cowboy ish right here. Right up to the part where he's so sure "she's coming for me, I know..." and off they'll go on the dead horse Wildfire, the cowboy and the dead girl, to who knows where.
05. Charlene - I've Never Been to Me (1977)
"I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see; I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me." Oh. My. GAWD. What, exactly, are these things that a woman ain't s'posed to see? And that's only a snippet of these awful lyrics. The song got a re release in I think 1982 for whatever reason known but to God and charted much better, hitting #3. Anyhow this song is acceptable only in the opening scene of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. :D
04. John Travolta - Let Her In (1976)
I was in love with this guy from the first time I laid eyes on him on Welcome Back, Kotter. My preteen heart went zing. "Let Her In" was the single off the album John Travolta. Yes, Travolta has a discography, which, including the Grease and Hairspray soundtracks, includes 11 records. He doesn't have an unpleasant voice at all, it's just... there. "Let Her In" is one of those teen heart throb mush ballads that they're all guilty of. This one hit #5 I believe so there's no accounting for teenage taste. Yes, I remember swooning just a bit at the time. I'm older and wiser now.
03. Hurricane Smith - Oh Babe, What Would You Say (1972)
Hurricane Smith, a/k/a Norman Smith,legendary Abbey Road engineer. Recorded the Beatles from 1962-1965. For some reason, he decided to leave the console, and go down and record something of his own. The epitome of "don't quit your day job".
02. Kenny Nolan - I Like Dreaming (1977)
Chalk this up to 1977 and the "year of the treacle". It's so cheesy.
01. The Captain and Tennille - Muskrat Love (1976)
The band America had it first, in 1973. But I'll always associate it with The Captain and Tennille, all the synthesizer sounds and warbling. This is definitely in my estimation THE worst song, not just of the 1970s but EVER.
Okay I noticed a lot from 1977 in looking back at this once I was done. Seems like that was definitely the year of the bad song. LOL
Morris Albert - Feelings. WOAH OH OH FEEELINGS. Does anyone who's old enough remember the Gong Show episode where everyone did a rendition of this song? LOL!
Ringo Starr - You're Sixteen. Ringo was I think 33 at the time he sang "you're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine". Yeah.
Sister Janet Mead - The Lord's Prayer. Yes, this was actually played on the radio. A lot. The only other Catholic nun to have a #1 song was Jeanine Deckers with "Dominique" in 1963.
David Geddes - Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleachers)
Songs I just couldn't add:
No, I didn't include Rick Dees' "Disco Duck" because it was supposed to be bad, right? After all, it's a novelty song and a parody of disco.
Damn it leave "Lovin' You" alone. Minnie Riperton hit that whistle note and slayed it long before Mariah Carey came along.
But... but I LIKE "Billy Don't Be A Hero". Sorry not sorry. It's one of those songs I would sing along to as a kid and just THE FEELS.
Dr. Pepper and sitcom cutie David Naughton's "Makin' It" was my bop as a 14 year old. I will still sing along to every word. And I don't care.
Sorry if I included a song you actually like. Do you have any others that you feel were omitted? Discuss